Thursday, January 1, 2009


Real Life
Support for Moms
© is hosted by Melissa Stanton, author of
The Stay-at-Home Survival Guide: Field-tested strategies for staying smart, sane, and connected while caring for your kids (Seal Press/Perseus Books).
Welcome to the Real Life Support for Moms
Website and Blog!

ABOUT ME: I’ve been an employed mom (while a senior editor at LIFE and People magazines), a stay-at-home mom (of three, including twins), a work-from-home mom and, once again, an employed mom in the full-time workforce.* I understand the hoops women have to climb through in order to balance a career and family, or leave the paid workforce for a while to work as a stay-at-home mom. (Yes, stay-at-home motherhood is a job.) I wish the so-called "Mommy Wars" between stay-at-home and employed moms would cease and desist. Motherhood is too often treated as a spectator sport, with women on the field as its fiercest competitors. It's destructive to us all when either side takes the hit. (Pictured: Me and my then-young trio. Click here for my "author biography.")
ABOUT THIS WEBSITE/BLOG: I believe that mothers need real life support, based on the constantly changing joys and challenges we face as women who are also moms. We all know, and others are glad to tell us, what we "should" and are "supposed to" do as mothers, but the reality of being in the trenches can be quite different from the once-size-fits-all advice (and fantasies) that are often preached at women who have or may someday have children.

Although my book (see below) is for stay-at-home moms, I know from my own experience that the grass isn't perfectly green on either side of the fence. Instead of debating who has it better or tougher, who's living the dream life or not, who's doing motherhood "the right way" or not, women need to accept and support one another as we each try to raise smart, caring, independent children to adulthood without losing ourselves in the process.
The Stay-at-Home Survival Guide specifically for and with women who are employed as the hands-on, 24/7 caregivers of their children—and who sometimes struggle with the daily grind and life-changing realities of stay-at-home motherhood. Unlike many other books on the subject,The Stay-at-Home Survival Guide does not sugarcoat, sentimentalize, or reduce to slapstick the realities of being a stay-at-home mom.

(Caveat: If you're blissfully happy being a stay-at-home mom and feel you're living your dream, you don't need this book. As a reviewer from so accurately described, The Stay-at-Home Survival Guide is "perfect for any mom who has felt she has the best job in the world, and the worst job in the world, all within a two-minute timeframe.")

In the book, moms from around the country and I acknowledge and address the perks and pitfalls of managing, enjoying and, yes, surviving our stay-at-home careers. Stay-at-home moms are often told how "lucky" they are "not to work." While I accept that a stay-at-home mom can be perceived as being lucky to get by (even barely) on one income, it could be similarly said that an employed mom is "lucky" to have a super career that allows her to also be a mom. What I don't accept is the assertion that stay-at-home moms are lucky "not to work." Stay-at-home motherhood, especially when it involves caring for small children with no help, is nothing but work!

Speaking of moms being supportive of one another
: I wrote
"The Guide" by working late at night and, on occasion, during daylight hours while also feeding, chauffeuring, entertaining and overall caring for three little kids. The only reason the book even exists is that after many rejections, my proposal finally landed on the desk of an editor who had once been a stay-at-home mother. She understood that for many women stay-at-home motherhood isn't a walk in the park. (In fact, she knew from experience that day after day of pushing a stroller in a park can make a mom a bit batty.) She understood the need for the book and the audience it serves. Thank you, again, Laura Mazer!

P.S. If you read and enjoy The Stay-at-Home Survival Guide, please
talk it up to friends and give it a 5-star review on! The book is staying alive entirely by Internet buzz and mom word-of-mouth. If you're on Facebook, please become a Facebook Fan of The Stay-at-Home Survival Guide! You can do so via this link:

Click here to read reviews of The Guide.

Thank you!

* Ignore the date on this post. I returned to the full-time workforce in January 2010.

Contact Melissa at info[at] or sah_survivalguide[at]

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